Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
