his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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