forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
