So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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