is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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