sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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