sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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