Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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