His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
