i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
