I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize