so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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