He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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