I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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