I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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