this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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