I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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