making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
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I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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