Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
