Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
