i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
