he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
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She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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