So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
