My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
