I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize