yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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