respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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