Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
