I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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