Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
