Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
