this beer tastes like vomit already
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
