I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
