Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
