so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
