Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
