I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
