shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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