Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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