We're facebook friends in real life
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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