i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
