Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
