dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize