You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
