3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
