my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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