he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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