seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize