Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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