how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
