I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
