You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She needs sedatives and a leash
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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