this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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