Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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