Having a random hookup so left but love u
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
