i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
