Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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