i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
