I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm at about main and main street
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
